Thursday, May 3, 2012

Suicide, tragic car crash, and the year 2008-09

Greetings to you my dear reader.

Marcus Aurelius said whatever may happen to you was prepared for you in advance from the beginning of time. In the woven tapestry of causation, the thread of your being had been intertwined from all time with that particular incident. It doesn't matter if one of us my dear reader, believes (or not) that everything was prepared for us in advance from the beginning of time. I would like to draw your attention and our reflection to the concept of the 'thread' of our lives and how it relates to the lives of others and how those lives in turn affect us connected to the woven tapestry of causation. Why do I bring this up?

It has been a day of very conflicting feelings and emotions for me. This started as I was looking at my Purdue email account this morning and by mistake I hit the 'Received' tab at the top of my messages. This caused the order of my emails to shift from today to all the way back to the 2008/09 first year at Purdue. I found emails with details that flooded my mind with thoughts and ideas from long ago; in a way it feels like finding a dusty old book or diary but since I don't really have diaries this is the closest thing I have. That year I started my career at Purdue and it also marked the start of new relationships of all types, new discoveries about myself and about the world, new ideas including the re-birth of ideas from the past, meeting people that would change my life, and a lot...a lot of moments of laughter, of tears, of joy, of anxiety, of doubt, and the questions and new questions as a result of those moments.

Among my emails I found one talking about the death of a 15 year old girl who was very close to a member of my family. She died in a car crash caused by a drunk driver and to those of you with ties to the community you probably remember this. The email actually made me remember that at that moment (like right now) I said to myself: 'My God...15 years young.'

As I was reading these little bits from my past I found out that former San Diego NFL star Junior Seau was found dead yesterday. The police are so far declaring his death a suicide. As I started to think about this (I remember him very well from my days when I used to watch a lot of NFL games during the 80's and 90's) I can recall his energy and passion in the field; when it came to linebackers this was one linebacker you didn't mess around with. The article said that he is not the only player from that famous 1994 AFC championship team to come to a tragic end; three players died due to heart issues, one in a plane crash, one was struck by lightning while camping, another one died due to a car crash, and another because of a drug overdose.

How many lives did all these people affect and change? And once they were gone, how many friends, family members and others were left picking up the pieces and still trying to deal with the loss? And what kind of lives we live after we loose somebody that we loved?

I have been thinking about all these things today and have many ideas; some of them are what one could call 'abstract' ideas and others 'concrete' ideas. During my own reflection I find myself thinking back to my own experiences, my past, my thoughts of the future, etc, and I also find myself going to the Gospel according to St. Matthew when I tell myself that I should not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring worries of its own. Today’s trouble is enough for today. This is true but sometimes I can't help thinking about the issues of tomorrow, then again I am only human.

What about you my dear reader? What comes to your mind when you think about your life ending suddenly? In what ways do you think you have influenced the life of others? What about the people that love you? Imagine how they would react to loosing you...

What kind of things do you want to do with your life before the end?

In the meantime I offer the following words from Friedrich Nietzsche: The world is deep, and deeper than the day could read. Deep is its woe. Joy deeper still than grief can be. Woe says: Hence go! But joys want all eternity, want deep, profound eternity.

I wait for your feedback my dear reader. And I hope you have an excellent rest of the day.



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