About "You Don't Speak for Me: Instructions for would-be-allies", are we listening?

"What do you need?"

During one of my favorite classes at seminary we have discussed a model called Decent Care. (Note: I will dedicate a separate post to discussing this concept) The first question that must be asked under the Decent Care model is this one: what do you need?

As I have been discussing with people the blog post You Dont Speak for Me: Instructions for Would-be-Allies by Dianne E. Anderson from her Faith and Feminism blog, some of my friends are conflicted. (Go ahead and read it and then come back here)

Even if some of us say that they would have written this article with a different tone and/or using different words, I fully agree with what is in my opinion, the biggest lesson: we first have to listen.

If you look at the first line of the article it is "Listen up", and the last line is "Are you listening?" Listen/Listening appears over 15 times, along with this:

Come in close and cry as we cry. Allow our hurt, our pain, our continued, daily oppression to sink into your soul. It will never be a part of you like it is a part of us, but you cannot empathize if you do not listen. Our anger will make you uncomfortable. You will want to shout that you are “not like that,” but that is not what we need to hear – we don’t need to hear how our experience affects you. We need to you to simply listen and be with us.

If you plan to be an ally (or like me you already consider yourself an ally) I agree with the writer:
"We need to you to simply listen and be with us."

It appears that most of the disagreement in our discussion with my friends is centered on what to do AFTER we listen. But still we all agreed, we have to listen. My friends, I believe that after listening, and before we suggest anything we must ask: what do you need?

Once we listen to the answer, then we can continue and we must be ready to do what is needed even if that doesn't match our expectations. If we are asked to give up the mic, then we give it up. In the meantime, we educate ourselves and try to educate others. And when the moment comes to take the mic ourselves, then we shall do it with passion, compassion, and love. What do you think?

A new direction

Hello my dear reader.

I hope you are well. Allow me to apologize since (as you already noticed) I have not been writing much this year. My life has changed a lot, specially the second half of the year with so many new and exciting things in the personal, professional, and spiritual aspects of my path. As a first year/full-time seminarian, my writing energies have been going to the usual work of papers, essays, sermons, response to weekly readings, revisions, etc.

But I find myself with new energy (not sure where it is coming from but I will take it) to write something every week. You may also notice a new direction with my writing. I hope you like it.

Until the next week!

paz,

Mario

An anonymous young man would "like to make a complaint!"

Hello dear reader.

A friend of mine posted the following to his Facebook wall and I thought it was really good. While the last line (and part of the title of this post) reminded me of the 'Parrot Sketch' from Monty Python, I am I guessing that many of us have felt like this anonymous young man:

One sticks his finger into the ground in order to judge where one is. I stick my finger in existence - it feels like nothing. Where am I? What is the world? What does this world mean? Who has duped me into the whole thing, and now leaves me standing there? Who am I? How did I come into this world; why was I not asked, why was I not informed of the rules and regulations, but thrust into the ranks as if I had been forced by a soul-seller? How did I come to be involved in this great enterprise of actuality? Why should I be involved in it? Am I not free to decide? Where is the manager, I'd like to make a complaint!"
-Anonymous young man's letter in Kierkegaard's "Repetition'